Who does what on your wedding? Our wedding traditions guide
Find out who does what on your wedding day in our guide to wedding etiquette
For many brides the idea of delegation will be a welcome one, but wedding etiquette can be controversial. To find out who does which job and what favours are appropriate to ask, follow our guide on traditional wedding etiquette to ensure your wedding day is favour-full and offence-free!
The ushers
•Attend the groom’s stag night and may offer input into the groom’s party’s outfit choices
•Welcome guests at the ceremony
•Organise the ceremony seating
•Distribute details of the service
•Escort the groom’s parents and bride’s mother to their seats
•Mingle with guests once the ceremony is over strong
The bridesmaids
•Chief bridesmaid is leader of the pack and not usually a child
•A married chief bridesmaid is referred to as matron of honour
•Brides choose younger girls as flower girls
•Help to choose your dress
•Attend dress fittings (and be patient for as long as it takes!)
•Arrange the hen night and any other planning you need help with
•Carry the crucial ‘bride kit’ on the day itself, which might include make-up (specifically lipstick, powder and blotting sheets), tissues, safety pins, paracetamol (should the bubbly begins to take its toll) and glue for any nail or eyelash extensions
•Walk down the aisle behind you and hold the bouquet when you reach the altar
The best man
•Does a recce of the bride and groom’s chosen ceremony and reception venues
•Helps to choose the ushers
•Organises the stag do (and makes sure the groom returns with both eyebrows intact)
•Assists with arranging transport and, crucially, getting the groom to the venue on time and in one piece
•Checks that he has the rings on the day
•Makes sure order of service sheets have been brought to the venue to hand to guests as they arrive
•Checks he has the rings again…
•Delivers a fantastic speech at the wedding reception
•Toasts the bride and groom
•He may serve as toast master in place of a professional one. For toast master duties, click here.
•Arranges honeymoon departure
The toast master
•Greets the bride and groom when they arrive at the wedding reception
•Directs guests around the venue and to any facilities
•Assists the photographer in gathering members of the bridal party
•Announces the entrance of the bride and groom and escorts them to the top table
•Announces the cutting of the cake
•Introduces the speeches and makes sure they are conducted in the correct order
THE PARENTS
Sometimes a parent’s involvement can verge on meddling, so make sure their roles are clear-cut from the beginning and avoid any pre-wedding family fall-outs. Here’s what you can traditionally expect from parents.
Bride’s parents
•Organising and paying for a wedding traditionally fell to the bride's parents so the mother and father of the groom used to have less of a say. Yet this custom has changed over the years, particularly when both sets of parents are contributing to the cost
•If the bride's parents are hosting the wedding the invitations should be sent out in their names
•The bride's mother usually helps with the organisation, taking some of the pressure off the bride by going on dress and bridesmaids’ fittings with her, helping with the guest list and so on
•The bride's father usually accompanies the bride to the church or venue and escorts her down the aisle
•The bride's father makes the first speech, thanking all the guests for coming and proposes a toast to the bride and groom
Groom’s parents
•The groom’s parents may help out towards wedding costs
•Either or both sets of parents may sign the register
•At the reception if there's a receiving line, both sets of parents will also meet and greet guests
The ushers
•Attend the groom’s stag night and may offer input into the groom’s party’s outfit choices
•Welcome guests at the ceremony
•Organise the ceremony seating
•Distribute details of the service
•Escort the groom’s parents and bride’s mother to their seats
•Mingle with guests once the ceremony is over strong
The bridesmaids
•Chief bridesmaid is leader of the pack and not usually a child
•A married chief bridesmaid is referred to as matron of honour
•Brides choose younger girls as flower girls
•Help to choose your dress
•Attend dress fittings (and be patient for as long as it takes!)
•Arrange the hen night and any other planning you need help with
•Carry the crucial ‘bride kit’ on the day itself, which might include make-up (specifically lipstick, powder and blotting sheets), tissues, safety pins, paracetamol (should the bubbly begins to take its toll) and glue for any nail or eyelash extensions
•Walk down the aisle behind you and hold the bouquet when you reach the altar
The best man
•Does a recce of the bride and groom’s chosen ceremony and reception venues
•Helps to choose the ushers
•Organises the stag do (and makes sure the groom returns with both eyebrows intact)
•Assists with arranging transport and, crucially, getting the groom to the venue on time and in one piece
•Checks that he has the rings on the day
•Makes sure order of service sheets have been brought to the venue to hand to guests as they arrive
•Checks he has the rings again…
•Delivers a fantastic speech at the wedding reception
•Toasts the bride and groom
•He may serve as toast master in place of a professional one. For toast master duties, click here.
•Arranges honeymoon departure
The toast master
•Greets the bride and groom when they arrive at the wedding reception
•Directs guests around the venue and to any facilities
•Assists the photographer in gathering members of the bridal party
•Announces the entrance of the bride and groom and escorts them to the top table
•Announces the cutting of the cake
•Introduces the speeches and makes sure they are conducted in the correct order
THE PARENTS
Sometimes a parent’s involvement can verge on meddling, so make sure their roles are clear-cut from the beginning and avoid any pre-wedding family fall-outs. Here’s what you can traditionally expect from parents.
Bride’s parents
•Organising and paying for a wedding traditionally fell to the bride's parents so the mother and father of the groom used to have less of a say. Yet this custom has changed over the years, particularly when both sets of parents are contributing to the cost
•If the bride's parents are hosting the wedding the invitations should be sent out in their names
•The bride's mother usually helps with the organisation, taking some of the pressure off the bride by going on dress and bridesmaids’ fittings with her, helping with the guest list and so on
•The bride's father usually accompanies the bride to the church or venue and escorts her down the aisle
•The bride's father makes the first speech, thanking all the guests for coming and proposes a toast to the bride and groom
Groom’s parents
•The groom’s parents may help out towards wedding costs
•Either or both sets of parents may sign the register
•At the reception if there's a receiving line, both sets of parents will also meet and greet guests
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